I was running late. That's how I knew the task ahead of me would require superhuman ability, like arms that can stretch to five feet in length, or the magic word that slows all kitty activity to a fourth of its normal rate. If I'd been on time, Meera would have obligingly trotted back to her room with barely a suggestion from me.
As it was, I sat on the floor and sloooowly reached around the base of the dining room table. Meera fled behind the couch. I used an umbrella to sweep her out; she returned to the table. I spent two minutes playing with her toy, while she cleaned her left paw and eyed me. I turned on the loving voice, and gave Kai the petting of a lifetime, hoping to make Meera jealous enough to walk over to my lap. Dreams, pathetic dreams. I made another grab. Meera ran behind the couch. I used the umbrella. She ran to the table. Oh Lord, I thought. May Larry, Curly & Moe be watching this from above. May someone please be getting a kick out of this.
Thoroughly disgusted and now unacceptably late, I went to brush my teeth. Kai trotted in front of me down the hall, looking up and over his shoulder to anticipate my next step. He sat down beside my feet as I scrubbed and politely ignored my foamy mutters. I'm not ashamed to admit it: I tried to use him as my go-between.
"Kai. Go tell your sister she needs to get into that back bedroom before I leave." He looked toward the door, then up at me. I spat, and rinsed.
"Kai. Go on. Go tell your sister she has thirty seconds to hightail it back there." He left, and was back again before I'd finished flossing.
"Did you tell her? Is she coming?"
We walked to the bedroom, and I pulled some socks out of the drawer. Maybe there was a way out of this. "Kai. Fine. Go tell your sister just this once, she can stay behind the couch." He went running down the hall.
I shut Brat in my bedroom and left the kitties free to roam. With an "I'm so sorry, my sweet," to my long-suffering black fuzzy friend, I closed the bedroom door on him, grabbed my keys, and headed out to my car, mentally composing this, my revenge.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Dear Brat,
We want you to know that you have our deepest sympathy. We, too, were invaded and usurped by a brother and sister gang of kittens. Like yours, ours started out locked in a spare room, but all too soon they took over the whole establishment: our dining room table top, our couch, our window sill, even our human, all were suddenly occupied by... kittens! They never went away, and they still don't understand very important concepts like juniority vs seniority. So, in closing, all we can say is that you have our sympathy and best wishes.
Banshee, Petunnia, Lucy, Buddy
P.S. Guilt trip your human - there may well be extra Fancy Feast, which is better than nothing...
Post a Comment