Thursday, December 07, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
Hungry for the sea
Sunday, December 03, 2006
What's so cool about sheets?
My bedroom door doesn't latch properly; the pokey-outey thing is permanently stuck inside the door, so it won't grab the hole-thing on the jamb. ("Jamb"? Is that a word??). Thus at night when I want to sleep a sleep free of stealth toe attacks, I prop the door shut with a shoebox full of books.
Normally I use the shoebox during morning bed-make as well. But this morning I could hear both kittens munching loudly on kitten chow, waaay on the other side of the flat, and thought to myself, "It takes, what? less than a minute to make the bed? I'll just rearrange the sheets and blankets real quick."
I threw back the top blanket. I threw back the comforter. I picked up the sheet. I tossed it high into the air and let it billow slowly, slowly, slowly down. In its settling, two cat-shaped humps revealed themselves. How in the...?!?! Weren't they just...?!?! But...?!?!
I gave up on the bed-make, and instead Kai and Bella and I had crazy insane playtime. Pupils black and dilated, they stalked each other among the mountains and valleys of the Sheet Monster.
Friday, December 01, 2006
My Bella knows she's bella
This morning before I left the flat I called for the kitties. Only soft Kai came running, so after giving him a little belly rub I went in search of Meera. Not in the kitchen, not in the office/library/yet-to-be-unpacked room, not in the living room or in any of the windows. Finally I found her parked in front of the closet mirror in my bedroom. Sitting on her hind legs, front paws positioned daintily just-so, admiring her own reflection. And what a beautiful reflection it is...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Zipping up
From Albuquerque...
I miss their company.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
2 glorious hours...
...were not to be.
Spills in the foster room, a water dish that desperately needed cleaning, unpotted dirt all over the living room floor. Turns out tin foil around the base of a plant isn't as effective as a kitten mistress could hope. At least, not with these two.
Kittens say, wake up earlier, fool!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Use #345,607 for a kitty webcam
But I never see them attack the curtains. Innocent until proven guilty, they say.
Infrequent guest
KP
I toss it.
Meerakai go bounding off, two tails and eight legs, 36 whiskers and who-knows-how-many stripes, I'm left alone in the kitchen.
Success is sweet; breakfast is mine, all MINE!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Distraction! Distraction! Distraction!
I fix my breakfast on the counter, where no kitten has yet been caught. When all the elements are ready...plate, glass of water, mug o' tea, silverware...I juggle them all at once over to the kitchen table.
If, for whatever reason, I have to leave the kitchen, I pick everything up off the table and set it on the counter, then bring it all back once I return. Even if I just get up from the table to grab a forgotten napkin, I'll keep one eye upon my food. You wouldn't believe how fast kittens operate. Or maybe you would.
But just because I'm there, present, in front of my food, does not mean it's safe from kitten paw and kitten tooth. There's a certain arrangement of my plate and cups that I find especially helpful. Plate right on the edge of the table, directly in front of me. Water and tea both to the left of the plate, also on the edge of the table. Elbows out, left hand holding ever-present book, circling food and precious liquid and creating physical barrier. Right hand holding utensil or bagel or whatever... This right side is the weakest side. Ample opportunity for watchful kitten to sneak in and poke around.
This morning I had grapes. I think Meera can smell grapes from all the way across the house. Maybe this is partly my fault. I've been known to toss them through the air, all for the joy of watching kittens leap.
My table sits right in front of the window. Perfect, thinks Meera. I'll jump up on the 'forbidden' table. The lady will look up from her book with a stern expression, but I'll head right for the window and (this is crucial) sit down. She'll go back to her book. I'll listen for a page or two to turn, maybe she'll put down her bagel to take a sip of water...and that's when I'll make my move. I'll give a cute little mreow as I turn away from the window. I'll look her in the eye, as if what's out there can't really satisfy me; what I really want is some loving from her. How can she resist this? I'll sit real close to her right arm...I'll just sit...sit...sit. Ooooh, are those really grapes she's got on her plate?? So round, so plump, so tantalizingly bitable! Let me just reach out one paw and tap one. Just a quick feel, just to see if it squishes. Drat! She said the 'n' word!! Did she mean it? (Let me analyze the tone of her voice, how long she drew the word out, whether she looked at me or not...). Nope! She didn't mean it! So now let me just reach out and...
And so it goes. I had to sweep my Meerabelle off the table three times. Only now does it occur to me what I should have done...Distraction! Distraction! Distraction!
C3.5, or: The cat who thought he was a dog
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Sorting out the visitors

I've got one hand to rub Thing #2's head, and one hand to rub Thing #1's. But is #1 satisfied? Nooooo....
He wants ALL the attention ALL to himself. He actually pitches fits to keep #2 from getting her share. He rolls onto his back and grabs for #2's neck. He hisses, he spits, he yowls. Do cats go through a Terrible Two phase??
Thank god I don't have to take him shopping or to get his hair cut...
So my concession to his needs: I sit in a chair with Thing #2 in my lap, and let one hand dangle over the edge for Thing #1, who, apparently, never looks up...
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
It's true: once you begin collecting, the collectees begin finding you
They were living in squalid conditions, unacceptable conditions, and so they were removed to my house. The alternative was the pound or the street. I have been in negotiations with their caretaker; the vet will be contacted, local friendly no-kill shelters will be contacted...within a week, we hope, we'll be able to say...
"...And then there were 3..."
Thursday, August 03, 2006
learning him
in mild exasperation, i asked him aloud, "how do you like to be pet? i feel like i'm still learning you."
like driving a strange car for the first time, like learning a new lover, like moving to a new neighborhood,
you have to give yourself time to make mistakes. relish the strangeness of it. know that a week from now, or a month, or a year from now, there will be no questioning yourself. you'll know what to do and where to go. roughnesses will be rubbed smooth.
this learning, this exploration, is as much a source of joy as the sure knowledge that comes later.
i found kai's spot just now. it's that bare spot in front of his ears, with the full palm of my hand. he half-closes his eyelids; i see the white film from the corner of his eyes rise, and he holds very very still.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
C3.4: the Trinity
Take two steps away from the back door. Crouch. Listen for cats running down stairs, up stairs, off the couch, or off the (forbidden) table. Use forearms, hands, and elbows as you simultaneously pet a mass hello to your three babies...no one goes unloved at homecoming time.
Do they miss me, or are they just hungry? The cat-lady's eternal question. But push this aside...it's irrelevant, really...the cats and the human are each filling a need, and enjoying each other's company in the meantime. What more can you ask?
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Afternoon snack

Meera tracked an ant today, from high up on a window of all places, all the way down to the living room floor...and across to the kitchen, back to the tile of the entranceway. She'd sniff it and sniff it, and bat at it. She'd watch until it almost made it under the chair, then roll him back out.
I watched for a very long time (who needs tv when there are CATS?), and reminded myself that this dance is part of the natural order...and that the ant was probably a bachelor ant who was getting too old to avoid rooms with cats...and that maybe he had already lost a leg or two before Meera found him...he was tired of hobbling around, no longer able to carry 30 times his own weight. Yes, he was ready to enter that ant-hill in the sky...
He's gone now.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
C3 (Entry 3): the Handshake
Cat Caress Codex (Entry 2): the Knead
If you stare long enough...
Cat Caress Codex (Entry 1): the EarTug
Friday, July 14, 2006
Waiting his turn
this is the only move that makes her stand still. during every other kind of caress (is there a dictionary of cat caresses?) she twists herself in tireless circles.
as i scratch, she lifts her left paw and curls it, then lifts her right paw and curls, then her left again, and her right. kai strolls into the room, and she opens her eyes long enough to take his measure. kai watches for a moment, then flops in the middle of the kitchen floor.
Friday, June 30, 2006
My black shadow
Friday, June 23, 2006
Bug du jour
This morning's offering was a leggy little morsel, about 1.5 inches long, nasty as hell. I opened the bathroom door on tiptoes and with shivery spine. Kai came racing in and knew just what to do. I found bits of leg scattered on the floor once the carnage was complete. Gross.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Inclusion policy
Brat has become one of their targets of random, unpredictable violence. Should I be alarmed, or should I convince the Old Man that it's a sign of acceptance, of comfortable familiarity? Silly lady, no convincing necessary...
This morning in the kitchen, Meera (5 pounds, wet) aimed a left hook at Brat (15 pounds, on an empty stomach). Keep in mind: Meera has finely honed the Art of Invisibility when it comes time to trim nails. And Brat...well, his former owner (we're trying not to pass judgement here) had him declawed. So you see the odds were not at all even. Add to this the fact that Meera moves like the wind (Brat can pass wind...does this count?). She's younger. And she's got that "You shouldn't hit a girl," thing going for her.
So I ran for my sweet old boy, prepared to soothe his ruffled fur, bolster his shattered ego, and wash and bandage any fresh wounds...
But wouldn't you know it? By the time I got there, Brat had swung his paw so hard at Meera's head that his other front paw actually lifted off the ground! While simultaneously hissing! And then he took a step in her direction! I think it was the step that did it. Meera fled, and Brat turned, victorious, full of the old glory, and creaked back to his dusty old chair.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Alternative to suction cups

Stainless steel tension rods!
No more accidentally driving over defenseless bird feeders! (Lizzzzziiiiiee.....)
Must consult with the munchkins to see if this would be a worthwhile purchase. (I hear Meera telepathicking: "Yes! Yes!")
More than you ever wanted to know: http://www.bestnest.com/bestnest/lc/lc_window_bird_feeder_faq.asp
Cats on film (in bits 'n' bytes?)
Cuteness ceases to exist til I can get my finger on that shutter button. Kai's silly belly flops on the kitchen floor. His finger nips, fishbreath and all. Brat's sweet nose rub, the way he reaches out with his face to touch mine. Meera's absolute genius on the basketball court...
I refuse to look til tomorrow morning, and then...oh hoho, then!!
Monday, June 12, 2006
This morning's recipe
Friday, June 09, 2006
Grumpsy
Thursday, June 08, 2006
It's the little things in life
Monday, June 05, 2006
An invasion of his personal space
Brat plants himself in the middle of the kitchen floor, solid, patient, & all-knowing. "The food comes out of that cupboard, she's the one who gets it for me, and when she starts downstairs to fill my bowl, that's when I'll move from this spot."
The kittens...so young! so naive! so wasteful of good energy!...race up and down the stairs, mewing piteously, curling around my legs, stretching way high up against the cupboards to see whether I've taken out the correct number of FF cans...
...and then, inevitably, Kai loses his head in the excitement of dinner time, and instead of curling against my legs, he curls himself right under Brat's nose. It shocks Brat every time, as if it had never happened before. He kind of half-snorts, and jerks his head back. If Kai is smart enough to keep moving and leave the room, Brat quickly recovers and resumes his dignified waiting. If Kai continues to use Brat as his personal rubbing post, Brat lets loose a half-strangled hiss, part threat and part hairball. It's pathetic to hear, and it must shame Brat to have it escape his lips because he always leaves the room right after. A few minutes later, he joins us in the basement, and quietly begins eating (inches away from Kai's face...no problem now).
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Repairs
Bathroom door left open for four hours this morning (oh joy!)...tiny mud prints on stairs, in kitchen, on windowsills, in bed, shout "Us catz wuz here!" and the lady is not pleased.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Milk it, Meera, ye queen of flights down flights
I'm kneading her back, checking for soreness. "If you run away," I whisper into her ear, "I will run after you, for I would miss you like fire."
"If you run after me," she whispers back, "I will join the circus and become their Fantastical Fire-Eating Feline."
"If you join the circus, I will become a tight-rope walker, with Kai in front of me and Brat behind. We'll grip with our toes and cross the rope to gather you up and take you home."
I run my hands down her legs. No bumps. I rest my hands in my lap for a moment and smile at the sparse warm skin in front of her ears--where my favorite cat smell resides. I lean in. But she's not one for patience, tiny toothed Meerabel. The teeth unsheath.
"You haven't checked my tail yet! Nor my neck!" (This, as she twists into all sorts of unnatural positions, creating unbroken curves within curves within curves (did she just say "nor"??))
"Launch yourself once down the stairs," my stern voice says, "and you win yourself extra special loving attention. Launch yourself a second time, and you're permanently barred from the upstairs. Capice?"
"Capice." Meow.
Badly shaken, but unharmed
To be continued...
Heartache
This morning there was a terrible crash outside the bathroom door. It started from a great height, and rolled its heartrending way downward, downward, down the stairs and past the bathroom door, amidst a horrible rustling sound. It seemed to last forever! And then silence.
I rushed out to find a grocery bag on the floor, and no sign of cats anywhere. I think I know what happened: when last I left MeeraKai they were wrestling at the top of the stairs, grocery bag a few feet away. One of them must have gotten tangled up and slipped...
In the kitchen, the Elder. Ok. In the living room, no one. Book room, no one, basement, no one! Panic rising, I ran up the stairs to find Kai sitting forlornly in the middle of the floor. (Ok, two down, where's Meera??)
She had tucked herself into the farthest corner underneath my bed, and scootched away when I reached for her. Even the loving, come-hither voice had no effect, and she is a sucker for the knead. But her eyes were clear and alert, and she stared at the toy I dangled...she moved her head quickly when her brother made a sudden jump to the bed...she seemed to have no trouble walking (in her attempt to move further away from my hand).
In the end I had to leave, but will check on her soon. I fear--I don't know what to fear.










































